Are you a prostitute or are you an auditor?
前幾天接到一封另一個同期同事轉寄的 email, 看了不禁讓我哭笑不得. 這封名為 "你是妓女 還是審計師" 的email 內容如下:
1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
4. You spend a majority of your time in a .
5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
6. You are not proud of what you do.
7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
8. It's difficult to have a family.
9. You have no job satisfaction.
10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.
11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your
18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance AM to Friday PM).
當你去見你的客戶的時候 ,你容光煥發, 但是回來的時候就變得像是殘花敗柳 (較星期一早上及星期五晚上的差別)
9. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
21. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
22. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
23. Your pimp seams to often abuse you, forgetting that without you, he would not have a business.
你的皮條客常常虐待你, 似乎忘了沒有你的話, 他就不用做生意了
24. You do all the real work, but the pimp has a higher stigma and more money, and really just has to "coordinate" the work for you. Sometimes, you wonder if you could just make more money pimping out yourself
實際的工作都是你在做, 但是你的皮條客的地位比你高, 賺的錢比你多,而且他可以安排你的工作, 有時候 你不禁要想是不是乾脆自己幫自己拉皮條還會賺得多一點
25. You get so brainwashed into the lifestyle, that you don't realize that life can be better, until it is too late.
你被洗腦後慢慢習慣了這個生活型態 ,不知道還有更好的選擇, 直到太晚
26. Personal time, or a work/life balance, is meaningless to your pimp, all he cares about is satisfying the clients, despite how many times he tells you he loves you.
私人時間, 工作/閒的平衡對你的皮條客來說毫無意義, 不管他說了幾次他愛你, 他真正在乎的只是讓客戶滿意
27. After a few years, you find that all your non-prostitute friends are no longer your friends, because you lost touch and your schedule and lifestyle was difficult to manage, and you find that you associate primarily with other prostitutes.
過了幾年後, 你發現因為時間難喬或太難連絡, 你慢慢失去非妓女圈的朋友 , 你發現還有連繫的朋友都是妓女
28. The turnover rate is ridiculously high. Everyone thinks they can do it for a few years, no problem, but after just a few clients railing you, many break under the pressure, or quit for a better life.
工作流動率高, 每個人都以為自己可以做個幾年, 但是在被客戶蹂躪幾次後, 慢慢就有人受不了壓力, 決定洗手不幹了
29. Most of the time, your job could be performed by a well-trained monkey.
雖然聽起來很可悲, 可是大部分的內容還真的有點真實哩! 沒辦法, 誰叫在會計師事務所內, 每個人都是這樣子熬過來的. 所以只有能熬到最後, 沒有在中途就受不了不幹的人, 才能享受皮條客的福利啦!! 前一陣子每天工作12個小時以上的時候, 公司跟客戶收的鐘點費是我實際薪水的十倍以上, 抽的成還真的超多! 幸好我們不是一直都那麼忙, 要不然真的會覺得把自己 pimp out 還比較值得一點! XD